Willow
by DreamerCarroll15
Summary: Willow Carroll's got a bad past that she cant let go off. Missing her family and hating the horrors of her life can the Elmtree House kids be able to uncover the horrible truth about Willow? Will they be able to help her move on? sri suck @ summaries
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

The Bitter End.

"Your still alive?" My Grandmother hisses angerily.

"Grandmother, have mercy" pleads my older sister Roxie.

Her small build doesn't look like she's 17. Her tears numb me. When you've had the life I had an emotion becomes numb to you. Its when I notice Grandmother has a gun in her hand that I feel panic and fear. I pretend to be dead as I lay here. Connor died just 2 days ago from starvation. 4 years old and I already know of the hunger pains.

"Goodbye Roxie" my Grandmother whispers.

I hear the gun shot. I hold my breath and try stop the tears rolling down my face. I can hear the blood spatter on the walls. It's enough to make me sick. My stomach's turning but I can't be sick. There hasn't been any food in me since Connor died. Grandmother must think we're all dead because she leaves the room and leaves the door open. I rip away the covers and slip out of the room. I listen quickly. Grandmother goes into the sitting room. I watch her close the door after herself. I go into the kitchen. On the kitchen table there's a piece of bread. Grabbing it off the table I wolf it down and see the phone on the desk. I grab it and call 999 praying to god that Grandmother isn't playing a trick on me and planning on killing me now.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Meeting.

"Who we handing you over to this time Willow?"

"New social worker I think"

"Your going somewhere good Willow, please try not get into trouble, next time you'll end up in jail"

I sigh and watch as a middle aged man with a young women walk up toward me.

"Hello Willow I'm Mike and this is Tracy were the social workers at Elmwood"

"See you around Willow" Chief Adam Williams says walking back into the police station.

"I'll get your bags Willow" I frown angrily.

"I'll do it" I say angrily as I grab them from my feet and gesture them to move. They walk towards a car I saw them get out of. As they get in the front I throw my stuff in the boot and slam down the boot lid.

"She's makes Liam and Electra look like angles" Tracy says quietly.

I slam the car door as I get in.

"Right next police station" Mike says.

I sit back and listen to my Ipod. After 10 minutes I'm sitting in the car with Mike as Tracy goes into another police station.

She comes back with a boy with shiny brown hair, warm brown eyes, faded blue jeans and a purple hoodie.

He gets in beside me in the back and Tracy puts his stuff in the boot.

"Who's this?" He asks with a cheeky grin on his face.

"Willow Carroll, she's going to stay in Elmwood with us"

He looks me up and down.

"Alright"

I raise my eyebrows. Boys.

"Cool" he says relaxing in his seat shoving his hands in his pockets.

I turn up the music on my Ipod and stare out the window of the car as we drive through the town to Elmwood house.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

Pain.

I look around at the bleak walls of my new room. Nothing in it but a bed and a wardrobe and desk. More than what I ever got in a room. I sigh heavily. I empty my bag out on my bed. My Ipod. My clothes. My two pairs of shoes. My make up. My CDs. My portable CD/DVD player. My posters. My phone. My phone charger. My laptop and laptop charger. All thanks to Mary Anne, Another care worker, who brought me to town yesterday. I open the hidden pocket in my bag with my 4 thousand pounds in it. The last of the money from my 5 brothers and 5 sisters that have all died when mama and da died.

And my special music sheets. I start putting everything away. Afterwards I think the room looks half decent. Maybe some paint, a nice rug and some nice bed sheets. I'll go mad. hen there's a knock at the door. I open it slowly.

"Hello" says a small blonde girl with a dark haired girl.

"I'm Tee and this is Carmen, we were wondering if you wanted some company?"

I just look at them. They look about 11 and 10. They can't hurt me. But then again...

"Sure" I say smiling and opening my door wider. They smile and walk in carefully examining me and the room at the same time.

"This used to be Tracy's room"

"Who?"

"Tracy, our care worker"

"Didn't know she was an ex care kid"

"Yeah...What bands this?" asks Carmen picking up one of my CDs. The Black Parade on the front of it.

"My Chemical Romance."

"Who are they?" Asks Tee picking up my family photo.

Me, Roxie, Connor, Sam, Rosy, Megan, Darren, Ma, Da, Anne, Marlinn, Naddie and Jason. They never had a chance to live a happy life. Nethier did I. I can't say the same for Jason though. Jason was never in the attic. Jason moved out before she could get him. He'd be 25 now. He properly had a happy and normal life. He didn't spend the first 4 years of his life in an attic. He's dead to me now. Just like the rest. Even though I never meet him. I hardly remember any of them but Roxie and Connor.

I just stare at the photo. Numbing the pain in my chest.

"My family, there all dead now"

"Oh, sorry"

I shrug trying not to show the pain in my chest.

"You get over it"

So not true!

"My parents are dead too" says Tee looking down at her feet. I'd like to say I'm sorry but I didn't know them.

"Too bad..." I say awkwardly unsure of what to say next.

She looks at me with sad eyes but with a bitter tone in he voice says:

"You don't have to be so mean you know"

"I wasn't trying to be"

What the hell? She just feckin attacks me! Just because I didn't say sorry.

"Look just because I never knew your parents shouldn't mean I have to say sorry! You never knew mine! I never even got to meet mine!"

I grit my teeth. I'm usually good at control my temper.

But I can feel tears in my eyes.

"Look just get out!" I scream before they can say anything else.

They run out. I slam the door behind them. My chest feeling heavy and I can breath. Anger and hurt filling my body. I can't help the tears that keep on falling.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Best of you.

Fixing my make up someone knocks at my bedroom door.

"Willow? You okay?"

"Yeah why?"

"Well, Tee and Carmen said that you were upset"

"Well I'm fine now!"

"Okay, dinner's ready by the way"

I sigh. Time to meet the rest of the kids.

"On my way"

I open the door and see Tracy standing there smiling softly.

"I know it's hard, I was here once you know"

"Yeah Tee and Carmen said you lived here, in this room" I gesture to the room that was now mine.

"Yeah... You'll like it here though, the kids here bring out the best in you"

I raise my eyes finding that hard to believe. How could they bring out the best of me when don't know what the best of me is? I follow Tracy as she walks down the hallway and down the stairs. The sound of laughter and happiness wonder from the kitchen. I'm almost afraid to go in and ruin the moment. I hesitate a minute, standing there holding my breath.

"Willow? Are you okay?"

"It's just there all so happy..." I trail off not meaning to say it aload.

Tracy smiles.

"They are, there excited to meet you"

"Well I'm less then excited to meet them" I mutter as Tracy starts toward the kitchen.

I sigh and walk in to the big bright kitchen. The room goes silent as I enter. I keep calm and look like I don't care but inside I'm scared. Scared of all the things they could be thinking about me. Thinks to lure me into a trap. Like last time in Burnywood where they found out about my past and locked me in the attic. I had a panic attack and passed out. I always hated attics because they bring too many bad memories. While I'm thinking of the attic my heart aches. I sit between Liam, the guy from ealier and another guy wearing a Man United jersey.

"Alri' new girl? Settling in alright?"

"It's ok"

A large women covered in bright coloured clothes walks towards me.

"Hello Willow, My name's Gina, Your hungry yeah?"

I nod at Gina as she places a plate in front of me. It's pasta. The room goes abit quiet then as we all start eating.

"So new girl, How'd you end up here?"

I glare up at the smiling vixen of a girl with blue highlights.

"It's none of your business"

"We have to go on my tour at 3:40. It's 2.32 now" says a boy with a note pad and dark curly hair.

"Willow, this is Johnny my brother" Tee says patting a boy beside her.

Johnny glares at me, I glare back annoyed that he's glaring at me.

"You got a problem then?" I ask letting my anger fill my calm voice.

"Yeah you, bullying my sister"

I roll my eyes but he reminds me so much of my twin brother Sam that I nearly crack and cry in front of them. I keep eating and let Tee introduced me to everyone. Frank with Celera pastel. Elektra with the blue highlights. Gus with the notebook. Harry with the giraffe. Sapphire with Harry. Lilly with Carmen. I nod as Lilly tells me about her rest by care not really caring.

Gus writes everything down. I look at him raising one eyebrow.

"Gus writes everything in his notebook" Tracy explains.

"Oh right"

"Willow why are you here?" Asks Gus suddenly looking at me with his eyebrows burying deep into his forehead.

"Like I said none of your business"

"But I have to know"

Slamming up and slamming my hands on the table I scream "No you don't! Trust me kid take it from someone who's lived it! My past would give you nightmares that you can't even think about!"

I storm out of the room and up to my room. All I can think about is Johnny reminding me of Sam being protective of me. And Gus annoying me about my past. Nobody should know. They'll think I'm a freak or a mental patient. Slamming my bedroom door Mike knocks on it.

"Willow? Willow?"

"Leave me alone!"

"Willow..."

I turn on my CD player and play Hollywood Undead at full volume.

Been To Hell plays, I mutter the lyrics trying to calm down.

Memories of Sam filling my minds. His small bony body. His hollow eyes. His pale blonde hair. Which was strange because I had dark hair. We had the same electric blue eyes. Our hair both curly.

I remember the night he died. We were only 3 both we both understood what was happening. He told me he knew he was dying.

Flashback to an old dirty attic. It's night time and the pale moon shines through the window with the bars fully locking the children in. The smell is foul. There's 3 bodies in the Connor. There's a young girl crying beside them along with 4 others. They all look so weak and fragile.

"Willow, I'm next ya know"

"Next for what?"

"To die"

"You won't die Sammy! I won't let you, Roxie won't either!"

"I know I am Will, I'm sorry Will"

"What ya sorry for?"

"For dying"

"Your not dying Sam"

"I am, I can't help it, I'm just so tired..."

His eyes closing, his lips already turning blue.

"Sam?" Calls small little Willow. Her eyes already filling with tears.

"No! No Sam come back! Sammy come back!" She screams crying beside her brother.

"Will?... Oh god!" Screams Roxie as she see's her and Sam in the Connor.

"Sammy!" Willow still screams.

"Connor?" Calls Roxie weakly to her older brother.

Connor walks over and feels Sam's pulse. He shakes his head and wipes his eyes. Roxie pulls Willow to her and wraps her arms around her trying to comfort her.

End of flashback.


	5. Chapter 5

Before you read chapter 5 I'd just like to thank everyone that reviewed this, followed this and favourite this story. But I'm sorry to inform that there have been some mistakes. It's Elmtree not Elmwood and Willow's 14 not 10. Sorry about that. Hope you keep on reading because the fun's only starting in the story. Sorry it's been ages and sorry for spelling :) xx

Chapter 5  
>Figure it out.<br>Liam pov:

"But what's her problem?" Asks Karmen as me and Frank walk in from town. Sitting beside Johnny on the sofa in the living area.

"Well, maybe she was abused as a child?"

"Willow?" I ask realxing slightly.

"Yeah, she hasn't come out of her room yet"

"She has to be on the tour now, she won't come out! I have to bring her on the tour!" Wails Gus.

"Gus, it's alright, she'll come out soon" Tee says trying to calm him down.

"But she's meant to be on it now!"

"You can bring me on it now if you want Gus"

We all look up at her. She looks calm. She only looks at Gus.

"Come to throw another fit?" Ask's Eletra smiling slyly.

"Is that the best you can do?" Willow asks slowly still looking at Gus and cocking an eyebrow.

Gus rushes out of his seat.

"Follow me and no talking on my tour."

Willow pretends to lock her lips with a key and throw it away. I can't help but smile at her.  
>They leave the room with Gus infront of her.<p>

"Biopolar" sings Eletra.

"Shut up!" I snap.

"Ooh someone got a crush on the Bipolar then?"

I scoff. "As if"

Willow is pretty, really pretty with her pale skin and really blue eyes but I don't have a crush on her. I hardly know her.

"I think you do"

"Eletra when are you going to grow up?"

She frowns and walks out to her room. I roll my eyes not really bothering with her.

Electra pov:

I stop outside my room as I hear Gus's voice. "This is the attic"

"I can't go in there" Willows voice full of panic.

"You have to it's part of the tour"

"No! I'm not going up there!"

"Mike!"

Hearing footsteps on the landing I walk into my room, closing the door after me.

What has she got about going up to the attic? I sit on the bed thinking of plans on how I can find out more. I hear as Mike trys calming Gus.

"She has too!"

"Gus she can't, She doeant like them"

"She has too!"

"Gus please, why don't you show her the rest of the house"

"But.."

"Please Gus" Mike pleds.

The voices fade as they walk down the stairs. Smiling happily as a plan clicks into place in my head, I take out my diary from under my pillow and start writing my thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.  
>Finding out.<br>Willow pov:

I gasp and wake up in a cold sweat. I'm ripped away from the terror of my grandmother getting me. I could feel her cold eyes burning into mine. I look around thinking I'm in the attic again but realise I'm in Elmtree where grandmother can't get me. Remember I forgot to turn off the lamp I reach out to turn it out when I hear it. Footsteps on the landing. I gulp, grandmother's image filling my vision.

"Ssh Johnny you'll wake everyone up!" Hisses a voice. Electra? What's Electra and Johnny doing up this late together?

"Sorry, I thought I heard something"

"Properly just someone moving in their sleep"

"Yeah"

The footsteps fade down the stairs. I pull the covers off and swing my legs out of the bed. Checking the time on my phone I raise my eyebrows.  
>It's 2 am. They must be planning something. I quietly open the door and walk out. Silently making my way to the stairs in the dark. On the secound step I feel something on my back. I turn around quickly and feel someone walk into me.<p>

"Hey!" I hiss.

"Willow? What you doin'?" He whispers.

"I could ask you the same Liam"

"I hear someone on the landing"

"Me too. It's Electra and Johnny"

"That's not good"

"That's what I thought"

I keep walking silently down the stairs, carefull of the creaky step at the end of the stairs.

"Carefull" I say as I realise he's following me.

"I know, I've been here longer than you" he says in with a smile in his voice, not like a sarcastic comment.

I smile alittle and listen to the house. I hear the rustling of papers.  
>I nod in the direction of the office. He nods and takes the lead. The doors open a crak.<p>

"This is it!" Exclaims someone quietly.

There's silence for a few short moments.

"Oh my god... She was... She had... Her past..."

I suddenly know what there doing. They found my file. There reading my past. My breathing exhalerates.

"She knows" I whisper.

How could someone do that? What did I ever do to them? Now everyone will know.

I slip away from Liam still listening to the conversation between Johnny and Electra. I avoide the creaky step and hurry to my room without making any nosie. "Get out of here" screams my brain. I grab my bag and start throwing all my stuff into it. I've got to get out of here. Opening the door and creep down the stairs again. Liam would still be listening to Electra and Johnny. Opening the front door I feel the cold air tickel my arms.

"What are you doing?"

I turn around, my jaw dropping as he raises his eyebrows at me.

"Leaving, I can't stay in a place where people know my past"

"Willow, you can't run away from your problems... Believe me I've tried"

"I can't, I've got to go"

"Dressed in your pjs?"

I look down at my baggy grey pj bottoms, socks and a off the shoulder top.

"Yeah, properly not the best gear to leave it" I say rubbing the back of my neck.

"Willow, stay, you've nowhere else to go"

I sigh. He's right. I'll only get caught by the police again.

"Alright fine, but what do I do about Johnny and Electra?"

"I'll sort something out"

I nod and close the front door after me, locking it again and making my way up the stairs, passing Liam.

"Thanks" I say.

He smiles cheekily.

"Happy to help"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
>Next Morning<p>

"Willow!" Yells a voice so load I feel the vibrations in my bed.

"Holy sweet mother of devine!" I scream from shock and fear at the load voice calling my name.

Someone knocks on my door.

"What?"

"Breakfast" answers a timid voice.

"I'll be down in a minute"

Quickly I dress in black jeans, pink off the shoulder top with "Say It Out Load" written in black captail letters and black converse with pink laces. Tying my hair in a messy ponytail that reaches my shoulders. My fringe sweeped to the side. My 6 peircings in my right ear, glittering in the morning sun as it hits my mirror from a silever of my curtains threw my window.  
>Walking out I see Johnny walking out of his room. He see's me. His eyes go wide and sad. He looks like he wants to say something to me.<br>I ingore him and walk down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Morning Willow" says Tracy as I walk in and sit between Liam and Tee.

"Willow, you've a hole in your top" Tee says looking down at the side of my top.

"Ahh here!" I exclaim sticking my finger threw it. "I can't sow this, gunna have to throw it out, and it's my favourite top"

"I can sow" Tee turns abit pink.

"Could ya help me?"

"Sure" her faces brightens.

I take a bite out of my toast when Electra walks in. She glares at me with pure hate. I look down, ready to run out when she'll start to tell my story.

"Morning" she says and sits infront of me.  
>She doesn't say anything else.<br>There's a few muffled mornings as everyone eats.  
>Finishing my toast and tea I catch Johnny and Electra both staring at me. I have to ask Liam what he did to then when he said he'd 'sort something out'<br>Taking out my blackberry and start typing a message.

"My room 5 mins"

I kick him lightly from under the table. He looks at me frowning. I hand him my blackberry. He scans it quickly and hands it back to me under the table. I get up and thank Gina for the breakfast and hurry to my room. I start to unpack everything from last night. I'm finished when someone knocks on the door.

"Who is it?"

You can never be to careful.

"Who'd you think"

I open the door. He smiles cheekily at me again.

"Come in"

He comes in and stares at all my posters on the walls, toutching some.

"Hollywood Undead?"

"A band, look them up when you get a chance" I shrug and sit on my bed.

He contiunes to read all my posters, shoving his hands deep into his jeans pockets.

"What did you do to Johnny and Electra?"

"Sorted it" he shrugs.

"What do you mean sorted it?"

"I told them If they said anything about anything then they'll have to tell us how they know, then they'll have to tell them how they sneaked into the office and read your file. Mike will find out and they'll get into trouble"

He smiles cheekily again.

I nod thinking it through.

"How much did you hear?" I wonder seeing if he knows anything.

"I heard enough"

"You know why I'm here?"

"You ran away from your last care home"

"You know why I'm in care?"

"Abit, Electra didn't tell Johnny much, said it'll give him nightmares"

"What did you find out?" Worried now that he knows.

He sits beside me on the bed looking at his feet.

"I only know why you ended up at the police station, why do you hide your past?"

"It's not really hidden anymore if Electra knows it"

"She won't tell, she wouldn't stoop to that level"

I raise my eyebrows at him. Really? That sounds like just the thing she would do.

"Trust me, she won't get a chance"

I nod while fiddling with the hole in my top.

"You should get Tee to help you with that"

"Yeah, she said she would"

"Why are you keeping your past a secert Willow? It couldn't be that bad"

"It is that bad, stay out of it!" I snap standing up infront of him and poking him in the chest.

"Oi, just tryin' to 'elp a friend"

I sigh. A friend. I'd never really had one of them. I'm too busy ethier pushing them away or afraid of what they'll think or do to me.

"Never mind, it's not... Important"

"It must be if you want it kept a secert"

I sit down again, trying to ingore the question.

"You know you can tell me, I won't tell"

"But how do I know that? How can I trust you? I've only been here a day! I hardly know you!"

He frowns angerily before storming out of the room. I sigh realising that I ruined the one chance I might get at having a friend in this place.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
>School<p>

"I don't think so!"

"Willow, I know you've been home schooled up to this point but we can't home school you here!"

"I didn't have anyone home schooling me at Burnywood!"

"It's different here..."

"No I refuse to go to school!"

"Willow.." Tracy says softly.

"What?"

"How did you home school yourself at Burnywood?"

"I bought the home schooling equiment"

"Do you still have it?"

"Yeah... It's at the bottom of one of my suitcases why?"

"Well Mike, why carnt she keep doing what she was doing before?"

Mike takes in this information.

"Please.." I pled with tears in my eyes. I can't go to school. The bullies. When Electra tells them about me. They'll bully me for sure. It's bad enough being in care.

"How about if you try it for a week?"

"No"

"Well then I'm sorry..."

"No! How about a day? If I don't like it I'll do my home schooling" my voice paniced.

"Okay, try it for one day, you'll like it Willow"

Yeah that's what they said last time until I got bullied for being a care kid.

"Okay... Thanks Mike" I say before Fopening the office door to leave.

As I step outside I walk into Frank.  
>I look around to see everyone standing around the office. They heard everything.<p>

"Your all such creeps!" I yell before shoving Frank out of my way and running up the stairs.

"Says the... Ow Liam!" Yells Electra.

I slam my door with my heart bouncing. She nearly said it. She nearly said something about my past. I kick the door in my anger. Slaming my fists on it, I keep doing it. It doesn't make me calm just more angry. I take deep breaths.

"Willow? You alri'?" Liam's voice from behind my door asks.

"Oh so your talking to me again?" I say sarcastic remembering all the glares he gave me at breakfast this morning before he left for school.

I hear a sigh.

"Look I was angry at you for yesturday"

"And what did I do yesterday that was so bad?"

"You said you didn't trust me, I'm the only one in this house that's been nice to you, you've scared everyone else away"

"That's no excuse to get all angry at me! You don't do that!"

"Oh really says the girl that's after gettin mad with Mike 'bout school"

I think about that. It's true. I did do that.

"I guess your right, forget I said that" I laugh alittle bit.

"Are you laughing?"

"Yeah..."

I stop laughing. I feel better. I'm not angry anymore. I open the door and mototion him inside.

"I've never done that before"

"What laugh? You have so!"

"Nope, I didn't think I could" I say seriously.

"Your kidding?"

"No, I never had anything to laugh about, I've always been sad, lonley, depressed and angry that I was never happy or funny"

He looks at me oddly.

"What do you call a sheep with no legs?"

"What? How does this fit the conversation?" I ask confused at his sudden random question.

"What do you call a sheep with no legs?"

"Eh... I don't know, what do you call a sheep with no legs?"

"A cloud" he does jazz hands as he smiles like a clown.

I laugh alittle. Not at the joke but the way he said it.

"Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

I laugh alittle longer, feeling so much better.

"Thanks Liam"

He laughs.

"Your alri'"

"Hey Liam we playin a game of footie? Come on you, Johnny, Harry and me" calls Frank from the doorway, half afraid to come in.

I smile awkwardly and nod at him.  
>He looks down and he bites his lip. Almost as if he's trying not to say something.<p>

"I'm coming Frank"

Liam smiles at me before leaving my room. Did Frank usually act like that? I wonder to myself. I sit on my bed trying to remember the last time I laughed.

Flashback to a small garden. The sun's shining brightly. Four year old Willow plays tag with her brothers and sisters. Connor grabs her and lifts her up.

"Your it Will"

Willow laughs happily along with her brothers and sisters.

End of flashback.

Holding my head in my arms I exhale sharply. My eyes watering. We never looked so healthy


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
>Been to Hell.<p>

"Ready?" Mike asks me as I walk down the stairs in the dark uniform.  
>I sigh and nod. School. Funny how one word makes my stomach turn.<br>We all pile into the mini van. I manage to sit beside Electra and Tee. Tee talking excitedly about all the amazing things at school. I can hardly bother to care but I listen anyway and nod in the right places.  
>Mike drops Harry, Gus, Tee, Carmen off at a small building with other children younger than me piling in the gates.<p>

Mike drives for another ten minutes when we reach a big dull locking building with iron gates surrounding it. I frown at it.  
>I've been to hell before but this looked worse.<p>

"Here we are" Mike sings.

The rest of us get out quickily and start toward the school. Electra and Sapphire go off with a group of their friends while I'm left with Liam and Frank.

I look around at all the people suddenly staring at me. I bite my lip, nervously knowing there talking about me.

"You'll be alri' Willow" says Frank smiling at me with a soft expression on his face. Like someone trying to hide their sadness with a smile.

I nod but look nervously at the building.

"Better bring ya to the 'ead's office" Liam says looking over at a group of girls giggling are way.

He gently pushes my back and I move forward. I gulp but walk in to the school. Shaking at what might happen. Liam and Frank lead me to the office. There's plastic chairs outside it. A girl with ruby red short hair sits in one. She's about my age and listening to something on her ipod. The bell rings.

"Oh no! Were late, think you can do this on your own?"

I nod and sit down beside the girl. She looks up from her Ipod and smiles. Then back to her Ipod. Liam and Frank run down the corridor to their first class.

"Your new too?" The girl asks with a light Irish accent.

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah, Scarlett O'Connor" she sticks out her hand for me to shake.

I take it shyly feeling a little reliefed that someone other than me is new here.

"Willow Carroll"

"Well Willow, us newbies got to stick together" she smiles at toothy grin at me and slaps her legs happily.

"I'm from Ireland, you look like your not from around here"

"No.. Born in Ireland, brought up in England"

"Oh I just moved with my Ma"

I nod feeling alittle frightened of her sunny mood. Finally after twenty minutes of Scarlett talking about her cats Smudge and Fudge the princable Mr Farrell steps out of his office. He looks to be about his forties with a bald head. He's a well built man dressed in a suit.

"Ladies, I see you two have already met" he smiles.

It's a friendly smile. He gestures to his office and we walk in silently. we sit in the plastic chairs infront of his desk. He sits behind the desk and rests his hands infront of him on the desk.

"Welcome ladies to our school, we are happy to have you as pupils here"

Scarlett smiles and starts fiddeling with her fingers. I smile shyly. He looks like a friendly man. Someone who wouldn't hurt me or do anything bad to me.

"You'll both be in the same year, your both from the same care homes?"

I look at Scarlett blushing red.

"No... I'm at Burnywood"

"I'm at Elmtree" I say still looking at Scarlett.

Wasn't she just talking about her Ma?

"Sorry, here are your time tables, I will take you on a tour of the school now"

I smile slightly thinking to myself. "Where's Gus when you need him"

After showing us the entir school, whitch was a lot bigger inside, the bell rings for lunch.

"Go on down to the cantine and you can continue to go to your normal classes."

"Umm hm" Scarlett says looking at the big board with posters on it.

Mr Farrell leaves us standing in the nearly crowded corridors.

"You coming to the cantine?" I ask while reading a poster about bullying.

"No... Not hungry... You?"

"Not hungry ethier"

"Let's go for a walk" she smiles brightly making her look pretty. Her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Sure"

The sun shines brigtly outside. The air is warm.

"Wow it's soo hot!" Exclaims Scarlett pulling off her jumper and carrying it in her arms.

I do the same but tie it around my waist and open up the two top buttons of my shirt.

"Let's sit over here" I say sitting down on the soft grass on the small walk.

She sits down beside me and rolls up her sleves, being somewhat careful. Like she's protective of her wrists. Raising my eyebrows I shake it off.

"So your at Elmtree?"

"Yeah..."

I suddenly don't like where our conversation is going.

"How'd ya end up there?"

I want to yell and scream at her to just sod off. That it was none of her business why I was in care but remembering where that had gotten me with the others at Elmtree I bite my tongue.

"My... My family couldn't cope"

She nods and lies on the grass, realxing her muscles.

"How'd you end up in care?"

"My dad died"

"Couldn't you just go live with your Ma?"

Her ma was meant to be the best right? That's what she'd said herself.

"Ma cant cope yet... I vist her every second week"

I look down at her and realise that she's ebosing some of her wrist. I see scars along the skin. Looking away I sigh. Already knowing her story. She suddenly brings her sleeves down.

"I already saw..." I mutter.

Scarlett goes quiet. She sits up and fiddels with her fingers.

"Don't tell anyone?" She pleas looking down at her fingers.

She looks up at me. Her green eyes full of fear and saddness.  
>I see so much of myself in her.<p>

"I promise I won't tell a soal"

She smiles weakly at me and looks down at her fingers.

"You hide it so well" I remark.

"I've had plenty of practise"

We both have.

"How long have you been in care?" She asks suddenly, trying to change the subject.

I can't blame her. Her past in some ways was like mine. And the way I feel about my past must be the way she feels. Anger, hate, pain, loss.

"Since I was 4"

"I've been in care 2 years now"

I nod watching the lads play footie. I see Liam and Frank playing. Liam smiles as he see's me and waves. I smile and wave a little. Scarlett smiles at me.

"Who's your boyfriend?"

I scoff.

"Liam is not my boyfriend, he's just a friend"

A friend. My friend. I guess in a way my best friend. Well he's the first person to get through to me. He starts walking over with Frank.  
>Scarlett hits my arm, gasping.<p>

"Who is his friend?"

I follow her gaze and find she's staring, lovestruck, at Frank.

"Frank?" I ask confused and alittle sick at the same time.

Love was why we were locked away. Because Roxie and Connor sinned. And grandma didn't like it.

"Frank" she says sighing with a big breath and gazing lovlingly at him.

My jaw drops.

"Hey Willow, who's your friend?" Liam asks looking at Scarlett.

"I could ask you the same" Scarlett says winking at Frank.

Getting over the shock I bite my lip smiling. I laugh at the frightened look on Franks face that a girl with blood hair is winking and flirting with him. I hold my sides and lie on the ground laughing.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 1

Chapter 10

Happy days.

Jumping into the mini van Mike turns around to me sitting beside Liam and Frank.

"Well?"

"It was okay... I mean it's school"

"So your going back"

I nod smiling slightly.

"Told ya you'd like it"

"I don't want to go back" says Frank looking out the window, his face full of one emtion. Fear.

We all look out wondering why Frank is so scared. I break into a smile as I see her. Standing near the school gates smiling, waving and blowing kisses his way is Scarlett. I cant help but laugh again at poor Frank. Liam patts Franks shoulder smiling and biting his lip.

"She didn't take no for an answer"

Frank shakes his head and Liam let's out a small giggle. Frank punches him lightly in the arm.

I'm sitting in the living room after my doing my homework in my room watching Liam and Frank play pool when I notice it. Carmen and Lilly are making something. There using too much glitter. Gina won't let that mess. Tee trys to get involved but it's obivous Carmen doesn't want her there. Tee looks sad and lonely. She sits on the couch far away from the girls who at this moment start giggling and whispering to each other.

"Oh no, I don't like that look on your face Carroll"

"Shut up! And stop calling me that!" I say running past him and up the stairs.

"That didn't last long! Hey Willow I think you just broke the record of how far you can go without throwing a fit!" Electra yells at the bottom of the stairs.

I stop in the landing and lean over the banistors.

"Kiss my arse Electra!" I yell back and run into my room.

Grabbing my top I run back down stairs and jump over Harry.

He's lying on thr ground playing with Geff.

"You having fun with Geff Harry?"

I ask confused at how he could have fun on the floor.

"Yeah" he replies happily. "Geff wants to know why your running around the place?"

"Well Geff, I've got a friend to make"

I run to the living room. Liam and Frank look up. Liam raises his eyebrows. I sit beside Tee on the couch. She looks at me with worry and alittle fear In her blue eyes.

"Hey Tee, could you help me with this hole?"

She smiles happily.

"Okay, we can do it in my room"

"Sounds fun" I smile.

I follow her up to her room. It's all blue. It makes me feel like I'm under water. I sit on her bed and she pulls out a sowing box. She shows me the stitches I need to sow up the hole. She stitches it up neatly for me. As Gina calls us for dinner and smile and realise that for once in my life, I couldn't never be happier.


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry guys this isn't a story this is a note to all the people reading this story. **

**I have just discovered that I can upload my stories from my blackberry :) **

**So that means that I have decided that I will upload another chapter every friday. **

**I've already uploaded chapter 10 before this so chapter 11 will be up next friday. **

**Thanks for reading. :) xx **


	12. Chapter 12

Heya guys, thanks so much for being so patient with this story, I know I'm kinda not very organised with my story yet. It's just that I've not computer so to upload the chapters I have to wait to be brought to the libary, I'm sorry if you waited so long. Hope you like my new character Scarlett O'Connor. I should have properly said this at the start of the first chapter.

Tracy beaker does not belong to me. Only Willow Carroll, Scarlett O'Connor and any other extra's.

The following takes place the two weeks after chapter 10.

Enjoy :) xx

P.S sorry for the spelling, I can't find the spell check and I've no time to go over it today.

Chapter 11.

Stereo Hearts.

"I can't believe he said yes!" Screams Scarlett excitedly in my eardrum.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear that? Think I'm gone deaf"

Scarlett laughs and sighs lovestruck again as Liam and Frank walk over to us.

It's Saturday and the weather is boiling.

"Were we going?" I ask.

"Park, we've only got till 'bout 7 thought"

"Plenty of time, it's only 2, come on lads"

Scarlett happily takes Frank by the arm and nearly drags him on down the road.

"Well well well looks like were stuck together Willow"

I punch him softly in the arm.

"Ahh what I was only kidding!"

I laugh at him. We follow Frank and Scarlett. There laughing. I can't believe that Scarlett could be so full of life after the life she's had.

I look away and at the ground not feeling comfortable. Liam suddenly nudges me.

"Look" he whispers.

He's staring at Scarlett and Franks hands. Frank reaches out and holds it happily.

My jaw drops. Only two weeks ago Frank didn't like Scarlett now he was holding her hand and making her blush.

"Well that's something you don't see everyday"

"Hey guys don't make this awkward for us" Liam shouts.

Scarlett looks back biting her lip. Giving me her sign that she wants to be alone with Frank. Liam starts to bounce the ball on the sidewalk.

As we walk through the gates of the park I grap his arm.

"Hey... Liam let's go to the swings"

"Oh so were on a date now?" He smiles cheekily at me.

I roll my eyes and wink at Scarlett.

"Race ya!" I yell and start running.

"Your on Carroll!"

Laughing I keep running to the swings. I don't stop until I reach the swings and panting. Liam reaches me in five minutes.

"There gone off together"

They walk by us. They seem to not even notice us. Their stuck in a world of there own. Their actions reminding me of Roxie and Connor.

My eyes prick with tears. I can't take my eyes away from them. There like Roxie and Connor. I can't breathe properly.

"... Are you even listening to me Willow? Hey Carroll... Willow?"

I feel the hot tears on my face. Roxie and Connor's face filling my mind. One of Roxie before the attic and one after. The same with Connor. I gasp realising something I never noticed. Connor didn't look anything like us. I remember that once before the attic that Ma and Da were fighting with Connor about something.

*Flashback*

"Connor you can't just stay out all night! It's not safe!"

"I can do what I want Amy, I'm not your son, you think I wouldn't find out?"

"Connor that's enough"

"No Gary it's not, I was adopted!"

*end of flashback*

How could I not have known? Granted I was only four and I didn't understand what was going on at the time but that didn't matter. Connor wasn't us. Connor wasn't a Carroll. He wasn't my brother. We didn't need to be locked up. Roxie and Connor never sinned.

"Willow"

"He... He wasn't a Carroll... They... They didn't have to die... We didn't need to be locked up" I whisper.

"Willow what are you talking about? Who wasn't a Carroll? Who didn't need to die? Why were you locked up? Who where you locked up with?"

The tears are faster. I gulp.

"Willow?"

He's infront of me. He grabs my arms and I look down.

"Willow? What's wrong"

"They look like Roxie and Connor" I wail.

"Who're Roxie and Connor?"

"They were my sister and my brother... I think"

"Your not making much sense Willow"

I sniff and look at him. Sick of having all the weight and pain on my shoulders.

"You know the tall blonde guy and the tall girl with red hair in my photo on my dresser? That's them, that was my family"

"Was?"

"When I was three my parents died in an car crash, we went to live with our Grandmother"

"And?"

"Roxie and Connor where together, Grandmother believed we were sinners, locked us away in an attic, starved us, beat us and killed us"

His eyes are bulging.

"You know I had a twin brother Sam? He died infront of me, all of them did"

"How did you escape?"

"On my last day in the attic Grandmother came and shot who hadn't died of starvation, Roxie and me where the only one's left, I hid while Grandmother shot Roxie, she left the door open, I ran and rang the police"

He toutches my face softly.

"You shouldn't have to live through that Willow"

I sober up from my tears. They dry but my voice cracks. I watch Frank and Scarlett turn a conour.

"Nobody should have to live through what I lived through"

Relaxing back now I feel suddenly free, like the weight on my shoulders isn't as heavy as before.

I smile a small smile.

"I feel better saying that"

"Good, now ya think ya can beat me at footie now do ya?"

"O' Donavan I know I can"

He smiles cheekily at me and takes my hands in his. He's a head taller than me. His eyes go soft for a minute as my heart thumps hard agaisnt my chest.

"You brought the ball right?"

"Coarse I did, see"

He looks down at our feet. He's still holding my hands. They must block my view of the ball.

"Willow..."

"Hmmm?"

I look up at him. My dark curly hair bouncing everywhere until they sweep my shoulders and stop.

I can't stop him before he leans in. All I can think about is how much like chocolate his eyes are. He searches my face for something but having found nothing, kisses my lips gently. His lips feel like soft warm petals. I supprise myself as I kiss him back. I'd never even got to hold a boys hand before and here I am standing in the middle of a park kissing one. The sunshines warmly on my back. Filling the park with the sun's shine and the sun's warmth. I feel that I hadn't died with Sam, that I did really escape. That now after so many years of feeling like I was still locked up in the attic that I'm finally free. And to tell you the truth it tasted fine too.


	13. Chapter 13

yeah so it's not friday but i've got the story done now so i might as well try and upload as much as i can. free computer studies class :)

thanks Chapter 13.

The epic journey to Scarlett.

I scribble a note to Liam telling him where I am. I leave it on the bed. The nearest hospail is a bus ride away. I grab a tenner from my stashed money in my bag under my bed and stuff it in my back pocket of my jeans. I unlock my door and listen to the house. It's quiet but I can hear some light snores.

I slowly close the door. I quickly open the window and look out. Jason's still here. It's about midnight and his car is still in the drive. The ground isn't far down from my window. I could easily jump. As my feet hit the gravel they make crunching nosies. I quickly run out from the house before anyone can stop me again.

*Flashback to the office.*

Willow, Mike, Tracy, Gina, Denis and Jason sit in the office.

"Why can't I see her?" Willow yells angerily.

"She can't have any vistors, she's been badly beaten" Denis explains glaring at Willow.

"And who's fault is that then? Maybe If you'd take care of your kids better maybe Scarlett wouldn't be in the hospail!"

"Willow... Calm down abit yeah?"

"How can I be calm if Scarlett's in hospail?"

"Willow, you can't see Scarlett... Not for awhile..."

"How long's awhile?"

" A long while, we have other things to think about, you for example"

"Go to hell! If you guys won't let me see Scarlett I'll find a way myself"

Jason trys to put a calm hand on her shoulder but she growls and slaps him away.

"How come your here now? How come you couldn't help us all those years ago?"

"I was in South Africa..."

Willow storms from the room before hearing the rest of the answer.

*End of flashback.*

The night air is cool and windy. I sit waiting for the bus. It finally comes at a slow speed. It's old and dirty. It sqeals to a stop, reminding me of Gina's load voice. I get in.

"Two pounds fifty doll"

I hand him the tenner.

"Where ya heading?"

"Hospail, going to vist my sister"

"Visting overs ended ages ago now"

"I'll be fine"

Quickly taking my change I sit down at the front. Determend to run out when it stops at the hospail. Liam told me this bus goes to all the bus stops. And that there was one outside a shop infront of the hospail. There's only about 7 people on the bus. Most of them sit in the back. A guy about 35 sits behind me, smelling of acholal and sweat.

"Hey baby, want me to show you a good time?"

I turn around shocked and see he's staring at me.

"I've a boyfriend"

"Ahh come on" he slurs "you wouldn't be the first one tonight that said that"

I turn around and for a few minutes say a silent prayer for the poor girl left alone in a alley or where ever he left her, crying and all alone, asking why he raped her.

"Come on" he slurs again and rubs my shoulder.

I turn around and slap him hard across the face. He falls back into his seat and looks at me with pure shock and hate.

"I won't be another one of your victims tonight" I hiss and move to another seat, behind an old lady.

She smiles sadly at me. Knowing the situation I was in. But not doing anything about it. I look away and stare out the window to the dark night. Soon I'm at the hospail and running across the slient road. I keep running until I get to the reception.

"I'm here to see Scarlett O' Connor?" I pant.

"I'm sorry visting hours are over"

"I know that... But I need to see her... I'm her sister"

"Scarlett O' Connor is in care"

The women behind the counter raises her eyebrows at me. She has brown hair to her shoulders and light blue eyes.

"Yeah... I know... My father and I just found out where she was, I came as soon as I heard she was here, please I need to see her"

My eyes fill with tears. Scarlett's properly scared all alone here.

"Alright fine, but be quiet and don't wake anybody else"

She gestures me to follow her down a hallway.

"Where going to the third floor"

"How bad is she?"

"She's recovering. She'll have a cast on her leg for another while"

"When will she be able to come home?"

"That depends on Scarlett, her limps are repairing but she hasn't woken up yet"

I nod. We soon get to the third floor.

"Are you sure you to are sisters?"

"Well that's what our dad said"

"Look kid stop with the lies, Mr O'Connor is in jail, he only has one daughter, Scarlett. Who are you?"

"Her best friend, she told me her dad was dead?"

"The dead don't come back and do this to a poor girl"

She stops at one room at the end of the corrdor.

"In there, I'll give you five minutes, your not supose to be here though"

I nod and rush in. Closing the door I gasp at the mess on the bed. Her leg in a cast, banages cover her head and arms. Her green eyes open.

"Willow?"

"Scarlett"

I rush to her side.

"Where am I? Where's dad?"

"Scarlett what happened?"

"Oh Willow... It was horrible... He came to take me away at night, planning to kidnapp me. When I said I didn't want to go he beat me, then I blacked out, I'm in the hospail arnt I?"

"Yeah, you said your dad was dead?"

She coughs. It's like somethings stuck in her throat.

"To me he is, please Willow, don't let him take me"

"I won't Scarlett, he'll never get to you again" I vow with tears glistening in my eyes.

She crys silently.

The women from the reception walks in.

"Your awake?" She exclaims with shock. "You have to leave now" she says to me.

"She can't go! I need her!"

"Scarlett" I say trying to calm her down. "Carnt I stay for alittle while, help her with the police report?"

The women sighs.

"When I come back you better be ready to leave"

I nod in agreement and look back to Scarlett looking up worrly.

I reach over and sqeeze her hand.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14.

Famous Care Kid.

"Willow!"

"Ssh!" I say as Mike runs in.

Scarlett was just brought back to bed to rest after the police report. Whatever they did to her in there, they excusted her. Denis comes and drags me out.

"What do you want?"

"You ran away!"

"I didn't run away vist Scarlett"

"But you left late last night" Mike points out.

"Only because I knew you guys wouldn't let me go"

"Your grounded for two months without pocket money"

"Ooh Denis I'm so Scared!"

"Willow" says another voice.

"Oh great it's you, what do you want Jason?"

"Maybe I should speak with her alone"

Denis and Mike walk down to the waiting room.

"What Jason?"

"Willow, why do you hate me so much?"

"Because you left us"

"I didn't leave you! I have a life too!"

"Yeah but you could have at least come looking for us when grandmother locked us in a attic" I hiss lowering my voice.

"I couldn't, I was called away to South Africa to fight"

"You went to war?"

He sighs. I sit down by Scarletts door. He sits down beside me. Together we watch Doctors, Nurses and Patients walk by.

"I would have come sooner, I got so caught up in life, you know I have a kid now?"

"No, how would I know?"

There's a silence.

"Jason how could you forget your family"

"I didn't, I got out of Africa in 2005, I always remembered you, then Jenny came and told me I had a daughter, you remember my old girlfriend Jenny?"

I try thinking back but I'm too stressed out. The only thing passing my mind was in 2005 I was 8.

"No"

"Well she told me I had a daughter Milly and that Jenny had cancer"

I fold my arms not really caring why he's telling me this. He has his own family now.

"Jenny only had a year to live so I spent every day I could with her"

"Then in 2007 she died. And I tried to raise Milly on my own, but it was hard, I started to drink and nearly had Milly taken away from me, then I got sober in 2009 I went trying to get in contact with all of ye but I was told you all went to live with Grandmother and I went looking for her. She's in a insane isloum and wouldn't tell me where ye where. I couldn't get it from her and then after a year there I was told what happened and how she got here. I spent two years looking for you Will, to bring you home"

"You've already got a family"

"Yeah you"

I look away.

"Your not my family anymore Jason"

"You know that's not true, we'll always be family Will"

I close my eyes.

"I wish it was true, I wish they didn't died"

"I know, I wish it too, Will..."

"I'm not Will anymore, Will died in the attic with them, I'm Willow"

"Willow I know you must hate me for not looking for you guys but please forgive me, I miss my family"

"I miss my family too Jason but you're not my family anymore"

"At least give me a chance Willow"

I sigh. I have to stop beating myself up over what happened years ago, even if it was the worst thing to ever happen to anybody.

"Okay Jay" calling him by his nickname tastes funny on my tongue.

"We should let Scarlett get some rest, maybe we could go down to the park, catch up"

I look down the hall and see Frank and Liam going into Scarlett's room.

"Yeah, best we leave, I'll come back later"

We pick ourselfs up from the floor.

"Your a great influecne of those kids at Elmtree you know, they where all worried about you"

"Really?" I think through all the people that might worry about me. Only Tee's face flashes in my mind.

"Your kinda famous"

"The famous care kid huh? Properly because I've a bad past"

walking down the hallway by Scarlett's room. I look in only a moment and see that Scarlett's looking into Frank's eyes. You can tell by the way their eyes meet that the love is gone.

**Hope that did bore anyone. So part of the next chapter will have Willow answering some questions. Pm me any questions you'd like Jason to ask Willow. Thanks for reading :). **


	15. Chapter 15

**Hiya guys, look how far I've gotten. Hope nobody's finding this boring. So here is where Willow will be answering your questions. **

**Thanks for submitting. :) **

Chapter 15.

Back to Black.

"So what did you do in South Africa?" I ask him as we sit down in the small cafe in the park.

Sipping from my coke I wait for my answer.

"I was a peacekeeper"

My eyes widen. That was amazing. My brother a peacekeeper!

"Really, that's amazing Jay!"

He smiles slightly.

"Was it really dangerous?"

"Not really, I wasn't at the most dangerous part"

I smile.

"So tell me about Milly?"

My little niece Milly. Who would she look like her mother or Jason?

"I've a photo in my wallet..." He quickly pulls out an old brown wallet. He takes out a small photo. "Here"

He hands it to me. I look down at the 13 year old girl with shiny long brown hair, Tanned skin, big electric blue eyes and Jason's smile.

Suddenly remembering what Jenny looked like I smile.

"She looks a lot like her ma"

"Yeah, I know."

I hand him back the photo. Kinda creeped out that where nearly the same age.

"Jay what age is she?"

"She was born 1998"

"She's 14?" I exclaim shocked where are the same age. "Where the same age!"

"Not really, she's 14 this year, you'll be 15"

Getting over a small bit of my shock I nod.

"Are you mad?"

"No! It's just wow... I'm her Anutie and where like the same age"

He laughs. I guess he's just happy I'm not screaming bloodly murder.

I roll my eyes and take another sip of my coke.

He stops and sips his coffee smiling.

"So how's school?"

"School? It's okay I guess... I mean it's school"

"What's your favourite subject in school?"

I think hard, trying to remember any subject I'm good at. It feels so long that I'd been in school.

"Art and Homec... But that could change"

"So you like to paint and cook?"

"Well there's a lot more to it..."

** He smirks. "So any music you like?" "Loads... I like Hollywood Undead, The Killers, Adele, Jessie J, My Chemical Romance, Lady Gaga, Ed Sheeran, Nicki Manja, David Guetta, Nirvanna, Coldplay, One Direction, My Bloody Valentine, Lil Chris, The Tin Tins, eminem, 3Oh3!, Aggro Santas, Paramore, Akon, Alexandera Burke..." I take in a big breath realsing that I'd said that all in a big breath. Jay grins at me but his eyes are wide. I smile nervously. "Sorry... There's a lot... So how bout you Jay? Any music bands you like?" "Well... I like Nirvanna, Gun's and Roses..." "Love them too!" I interupt. He laughs and continues. "...Faith No More, Lily Allen... Loads" I laugh. I guess I got my love for music from my family. "So Jay what do you like to do in your spare time?" "Ehh... Usually just hang around at home with Milly and watch T.V or watch movies" He must have a lot of free time. That's when it crosses my mind. "When are you going back to peacekeeping?" "Not until another year" In a year he'll be gone again. No stop, I should just enjoy my time with him while I have him. "... Willow?" "Huh?" "I asked what was your favourite movie?" "Oh right sorry, zoned out there for a second... I don't know, I never really got to watching a lot of movies" He laughs. "Maybe we should go see one" he stands up from his chair, taking a long swig from his coffee and pulls on his jacket. "Comin?" I smile. "Yeah alri'" **


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks to everyone who sumbitted questions. :) xx **

Chapter 16

Up.

I look up at the house. Thinking back to all the meomeries I had here. Playing in the garden with my family. The wake. The big black limo to bring us to grandmothers. How could Jason live here? There's so many reminders of them here. Was this house always so big?

"I havn't changed any of the bedrooms. Milly has turned the spare room into her room, you and Sam's room can be you and Scarlett's if you want"

"Yeah, that would be nice"

I feel sick. My stomach filled with butterflies.

"You remember your way around the house?"

"Abit, I remember tiny bits of my room, but the garden is what I remember most"

He smiles.

"You always did spend your time in the garden"

I nod.

"I'll go collect Scarlett, you should go unpack, Milly should be home soon, maybe before me"

"Kay"

He gets back into the car. I open the front door and hestiate before walking in. I walk in slowly. It's still got the light brown colour and white walls, beige furtinture. The big windows sparkle in the sunshine. It looks so bright and clean. The staircase white with a beige carpet. Meomeries flood my mind.

_*Flashback*_

_A four year old Willow with Sam. They run down the stairs with crayons in there hands. Sam runs up to a random walls. _

_"S-A-M, sam" he says writing it on the wall. _

_"W-I-L-L, will" Willow says writing it under Sam's name. _

_"Ma, Will and Sam are drawing on the walls!" Naddie yells from behind them. _

_"I'll be down in a minute" says a voice from the bottom of the stairs. _

_*End of flashback*_

I trace where Sam wrote his name. Somebody was meant to paint over it. But I guess nobody did. It's still visble in the green crayon that he wrote it in. I wipe my eyes remembering Naddie then taking us outside. I walk up the stairs. There's 43 steps. Looking down the long hallway I see that nobody took down the signs telling whoever was at the door who's room it was.

Connor's is the first one to see. I open it up and see it's still a mess with a stale smell of teenage boy.

I close it behind me smiling remembering his laugh and how he could laugh at everything I would say. Across from his is Naddie's room. I open her door and see it to be really tidy. Naddie the Neatfreak. I laugh slightly remembering how she hated it when me and Sam always messed the house up. Next to Naddie's room was Rosy. Rosy was only two years older than me. Her room is completely pink. Across from her room is Megan and Anne's room. Both room's have the stale smell of perfume. Next to Anne's is Darren's room. It's pale blue room giving it a slight depressing colour. But all the books remind me of a libary. Marlinn's room is across from Darren's. It's black. Everything was goth for Marlinn. Even though he was the dungeons and dragan's nerd. Jason's room is beside it. It's completely changed. Even thought I hardly remember I know it's all done up. The bathroom across from Jasons and the stairs at the end of the hallway to the third floor.

I climb the stairs slowly, not really wanting to climb these stairs.

As I reach the third floor I take in a hard breath. The spare room is the first door. I remember this hallway the most. I'm not sure if it's Milly's room. In this house we had two spare rooms. One on this floor and one on the bottom floor. I skip the one across from it and walk to the one at the end of the hallway. Opening the door I can't help the tears running down my face. Jay left it the way it was. Da's work clothes still thrown on the floor. The bed unmade. Ma's perfumes still filling her dresser. I sit on the bed and smell the covers. They smell musty. I remember running in here every night with some new nightmare. I smooth out the covers and leave the room. Closing the door behind me. I walk into my room. Opening the door I look around at the old scribbles and toys scattered across the floor. The bunk bed's unmade. The curtains still shut. I step on something soft. I pick it up only to feel my heart break. Sam's old stuffed teddy. The one he loved so much. Mr. Stuffles. I hold him to my chest as I sit on my part of the bunk bed crying for the family I lost.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17.

No light.

Milly pov:

"Dad?" I call opening the front door and throwing my bag on the sofa.

"Dad?" I call again.

I walk into the bright kitchen and see the sticky note awaiting me.

"Milly, gone to pick up your supprise, be back at 5, love dad"

I smile. I wonder what my supprise could be? He did say that he'd been looking for it the past two years. Oh I love supprises. I play Fly by Nicki Manaj on my Ipod dock and start getting out the food for dinner

Tonight I think we'll have pizza. Dad's got this sudden love for pizza now. Putting it in the oven I check the time. About half five. Where is he? I hear footsteps on the landing. There running down stairs. Dad must have been up on the third floor. I wonder what he was doing up there. There's coming toward me now.

"There you are Dad, didn't you hear me calling- what the fuck? Who are you?" I yell at the strange girl with dark hair and eletric blue eyes.

She eyes me angerily.

"Willow, your Milly?"

"How'd you know that?"

"Your Dad told me"

"How'd you know my Dad? What have you done with him?"

She smiles and starts laughing.

"Nothing, I thought he told you I was coming today?"

"No!"

she smiles again.

"I'm Willow Carroll, I'm your Anutie"

"You can't be my Anutie, Dad's family's been dead years"

The front door opens.

"Willow?" My dad calls.

"In here Jay, you never told Milly did you?"

"Is she here?"

My dad appears at the door, he smiles at me and shouts supprise.

"What?" Willow asks looking even more confused than me.

"Milly, this is my sister Willow, she's the supprise"

"She's my supprise?"

"I'm nobody's supprise!"

Dad rolls his eyes.

"Family tenson, someone roll me out of here" shouts a voice in the hallway.

Willow leaves the room and I hear a muffled laugh.

"Scarlett, what in dear god are you wearing?"

"Oh ha ha, shut up and get me to my room, I need to change from being the fecking christmas fairy"

"Pink fluffy dresses suit you"

"Shut up" laughs Scarlett.

"Explain" I say to my dad before he leaves the room.

"Well Willow is my long lost sister and I've taken her and her friend Scarlett in, they'll be living with us now"

"You really have gone mad"

He shrugs smiling. Still realing from the shock I take the Pizza out before it burns.

**that's all until maybe friday :) thanks for reading and please review :) xx**


	18. Chapter 18

Yes hello, sorry this has been so long its just since the last time I uploaded a story I've got really bad days. I was sick on friday and couldn't upload another chapter. Then I realised I had to fix my story. Then I got into a fight. Then I was annoyed. Then I had study for my summer exams. Then my best friend had to go into hospail and nearly died last night because she stopped breathing in her sleep. But going into a life changing surgery now. Then my granda has gone into hospail with an infected hip. So yeah I think that's a good enough reason. God I hope I havnt confused you in the last couple of chapters. Well today I'll try upload this chapter. This is the second last chapter.

Chapter 18  
>Going under.<br>Willow pov:

"But like how can you live with it?" I ask Jason as I clear up me and Sam's room. Putting his stuff in boxes kills me but I need to make room.

"I don't know, I'll pack up their stuff one day"

"It's creepy, why not today?"

"Have you even gotten over them?"

I sigh. "I have... There dead... There meomeries is all we have of them but having all their stuff like this is really creepy"

He smiles sadly. "I understand"

"We'll do it together, they can rest in peace then"

He nods and sniffs. I hand him the stuff with all Sam's stuff in.

"I'll put these in the attic..."

He see's my face. I must look like I'm about to be sick.

"Yeah do, it can be their resting place"

He nods and see's Sam's teddy sitting on my bed.

"You want that to go too?"

"No, I'll keep it, something to remember him by"

He nods and leaves with the box of Sam's stuff.

"I'll start on Ma and Da's room" I say and walk to the third floor.

Walking in their room slowly I shut the door behind me. The room's now a pale cream colour. I start by tidying it. Making the bed, picking stuff off the floor and folding it on the bed. I open up the wardrobe. Everything falls out on top of me. I scream in shock, not expecting half a ton of clothes to fall on top of me. I fall on my back with the clothes covering my body from the waist down.

"Really? Could this get any worse?" I say to myself while rolling my eyes.

"Ow!" I yelp as something falls from the top shelf of the wardrobe and lands on my head.

Rubbing my head I realise that whatever fell landed beside me. It's a box and the fall must have caused the lid to out and spill out the contents. Papers, rubber bands, paper clips, pens, envolpes...

Their's a paper with Connor's name on it. I pick it up.

"Name Connor Ragean, DOB 18 May 1980"  
>I mumble to myself as I read it.<p>

Gasping in shock in reality of what it is. Connor was born 18 May 1980. I found Connor's adoption paper. He really was adopted!

"Hey.. Wow.. Jesus Willow are you okay? " Jay asks as he runs when he see's me, still laying under the clothes.

He pulls me out of the pile. I brush myself off.

"Thanks, Jay did you know Connor was adopted?"

He sighs and takes the paper from my hand.  
>He looks at it sadly.<p>

"Yeah I knew... I was only 1 when he came to live with us. I was 14 years old when Ma told Connor about him being adopted. The rest of us weren't allowed in but I stayed outside the door. I wanted to see what was wrong with my brother. I didn't hear much but I heard that his mother was a nurse working at Da's hospail. She had an affair with another doctor working in the hospail. The nurse came to Da telling him what happened and so Ma and Da adopted Connor, after that Connor wasn't really the same around us, it was like he was unsure of who he was. He became close to Roxie though... They told each other everything"

"Was anybody else adopted?"

Was i adopted? Was Sam? Rosy? Megan? Marlinn?

"No, just Connor"

"Did Connor ever see his real Ma?"

"I don't really know but I think he did though, he came home really late one night when he was 15, he was given out ta but he only said that he was at a friends house but I went by Roxie's door that night and I heard Connor say "I met her today, she has my hair and my eyes, she told me she never wanted to give me up but if the hospail ever found out who the father was they'd both lose their jobs". That's all I heard. Since that night I hadn't heard anything since"

I nod. I knew it all along. And now I have soild proof.

"So... Did she ever find out about us in the attic?"

"I don't know but I don't think she did... That story wasn't even in the paper... People just thought we moved away after Ma and Da died... Ma and Da both had no living family but Ma's grandmother and she's gone to an insane isoulum"

I take the paper from his hand.

"Georgina Ragean..." I read off the page. "What if she doesn't know he's dead?"

"So?"

"So someone's got to tell her"

"Tell her? Willow don't you think that if you tell a women about her son that died years ago in possibliy the most cruelest way possible that your just opening old wounds?"

"No... But she has a right to know... Connor was her son and Connor did see her"

"Willow, don't... Don't go destroy a women that's properly already happy without him"

"But.."

"Willow leave it please"

I sigh, it's useless to even try with him so agaisnt it. There's a number for Connor's Ma on the page... No. Jay's right I'm just opening old wounds and making new ones for someone else.

"Come on.. Help me with these clothes" Jay says as he kneel's down beside the pile and starts folding them.

"I remember when Ma wore this" he says holding up high, a pink poodle jumper.

"Eww!", thank god I don't remember that!" I say laughing.

"Hey, I bought this for Ma when I was six years old for christmas... Well I didn't buy, Da did, but I picked it out"

"How did Da let you give that to Ma?"

"I don't know... But she went round the house that whole christmas wearing it, I was so proud"

I can't imagine something so horrid on my beautiful mother. With her raven black hair and pale skin so soft and sweet smelling it was like toutching feathers or cotton candy but less sticky. Her slender figure and dark green eyes.

"All I really remember about her is being soft and warm and feeling safe in her arms"

Flashback to a sitting room with beige and cream furtinure and cream walls.

In the corner of the room there's a rocking chair. Mrs Carroll sits in the chair. she has her arounds around a young Willow about 3 years old. The girl has black hair, like her mothers, and electric blue eyes like her fathers. Mrs Carroll rocks back on the rocking chair, smiling and humming a soft tune.

End of flashback.

I stick my hand into the pile and instead of material I feel, I feel something hard with sharp corners. It's too heavy to move with one hand. I shove in my left hand and try pulling it out.

"Jay help me pull this out!"

"Pull what ou- what in god's name are you doin?" He asks laughing at my state. "It looks like one of the clothes has grabbed ya and is takin ya back inta the clothes pile!"

"No... Help me get this thing out from under the clothes..."

I keep pulling hard but nothing happens.

"Willow try moving the clothes off whatever you want to pull out"

Frowning deeply I tear off all the clothes.

"Hey! Do you mind?"

I stop and look at Jay, half covered in clothes.  
>I smile.<p>

"Not really"

6 months later.  
>We have all the room's emptied out. I rub my hands together. I never went to Connor's Ma. Cuts got to heal at some point.<p>

"It feel's like there really gone"

"It's always felt that way to me Jay"

He looks at me with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there"

"It's okay Jay, it's time to move on, that's the past, this is the future"

"Speaking of future!"

I smile as Scarlett runs down the hallway with Milly.

"We have a party to go to!"

I roll my eyes.

"Happy birthday Willow"

Milly hands me a shiny silver box.

"Thanks Milly"

I open it. It's a gold chain with a big enough soild gold heart on it. There's a hinge on it. I open up the heart and see a photo already in it.  
>It's of me and my family. And there's one of me, Milly, Scarlett, Jay and Liam.<p>

"Thanks Milly, I love it!"

I hug her tightly.

"Hey I bought it" laughs Jay.

I hug him too. Scarlett wipes a tear that fell from my eyes.

"There's no time for that today Willow" she whispers.

I smile and sniff.

"Come on and get ready, your outfit for this party is on your bed"

Scarlett pushes me into my room, now decrated like it was at Elmtree. Scarlett leaves and I see the purple dress she has out. With silver stitching and silver jewerlery to match. I quickly put it on and ingore the purple high heels Scarlett picked and put on my purple converse. I put on a small bit of make up and spray Ma's specail Sun Moon and Stars perfume.  
>I slide on Roxie's sliver braclet.<br>I smile at myself in the mirror. "Hey you comin Willow?" "Yeah" I say and quickly walk out of my room and nearly into Jay waiting outside. "You look beautiful" I smile again. "Thanks bro" He laughs. "Come on, we'll be late for your party" "Yeah yeah..." "Don't be like that Willow, they worked really hard..." "I know, I know! It's just.. I didn't want a party" "You really are a Carroll" I laugh and follow him down the stairs to the car with Milly and Scarlett waiting outside. 


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry its been like 2 weeks or 3. I've been sick and I've so much study to do.**

**Hope you don't hate enjoy the last chapter. I'm doing another story that I'll have up next week. Its new and its got Willow and the TBR characters in it! Enjoy :) x **

Chapter 19

Sing.

"Happy birthday Willow"

Tee hands me a blue box with a blue ribbon on it.

"Thanks Tee" I say getting her a big hug.

"Hey babes" Liam says as I part from Tee.

He kisses me in front of everyone.

"Hey hey no PDA!"

"PDA?" We both ask Jay.

"No public display of affection"

"I couldn't agree with you more" Mike says coming in the hallway holding Harry.

I roll my eyes and smile at Liam as he holds my hand.

"I'll give you my present later" he whispers in my ear.

"Hey!"

"Jay go talk to Jack!"

Jay rolls his eyes and greets Jack.

Jack is Liam's brother. Liam lives with Jack now. They both laugh when they find out that Liam is Jacks brother and Jay's my brother.

"Jeff says happy birthday Willow"

"Thanks Jeff, thanks Harry"

The whole party goes well. Scarlett and Frank are friends again. Which I'm happy about. They sit down together and talk for the whole of the party. Milly is no where to be seen.

It's midnight when me and Liam are finally alone. We go sit in his old room. Nobody has come and taken it yet.

"Just something that reminded me of you" Liam says handing me a box with a gold ribbon on it. It's small and black.

"You didn't scam to get this did you?"

He laughs and pretends to be hurt.

"No of coarse not, I'm clean!"

I laugh at this. Liam not scamming? Somethings really wrong.

I open the box and find a charm braclet. It's silver with 13 charms.

I toutch them all.

"Liam it's beautiful!"

All the charms are silver. There's a teddy bear, a willow, a music symbol, a sword, a book, a little bottle of perfume, a loveheart, a pen, a ballerina, a cross, a mediecal sign, a microphone, a flower and a tie. I feel tears in my eyes.

"I thought you'd like it, I got them specailly for you"

I hug him tightly. He got me charms of all the stuff I kept of my family. Sam's teddy bear, a willow tree for me , a music symbol for Roxie's singing , a sword for Marlinn's knight collection, Darren's book, Ma's perfume,a pen for Naddie who wanted to be a writer , a ballerina for Megan, a cross for Connor who always believed in god, a mediecal sign for Jay who's a doctor now, a microphone for Anne who wanted to be a tv host, a flower for Rosy and a tie for Da.

"What's the loveheart for?"

"The loveheart is me and how much I love you"

The tears run down my face.

"Ooh Liam, I love you too"

I kiss him gently. He wraps his arms around my waist. Wrapping my arms around his neck I feel him bitting my bottom lip to deepen the kiss. Gladly allowing it.

"Willow? Liam?"

I pull away disappoint to do so. He looks just as disappointed as I am.

He holds my hand as we leave his room. We nearly bump into Jay and Jack.

"Alright you two, say goodbye to each other, we should get going"

I nod and hug Liam.

"Thanks for making this the best birthday I've ever had Liam" I whisper and kiss his cheek.

He blushes and I smile.

"Nice seeing ya again Rick" I hear Scarlett say.

I see her walking away from Rick. She see's me staring and winks before following Jay out the front door. Rick's smiling softly as he watches her leave. I shake my head. I wouldn't even ask what was going on between them.

"Thanks guys" I say as everyone comes to wave me off.

I clutch the bag full of presents in my hand and hurry to the car. I sit in the back next to Milly.

"Have a good birthday?"

"Yeah it was fun"

Yawning I lie back in the car. I would never have thought I'd be in a car with my brother, best friend and niece going back to the house where I was born, coming back from a party at my old carehome carefully planned by my boyfriend. I smile in the darkness. I use to think I'd never be okay in this world but now I think I'll be alright.

**The end. **

**Thanks for reading. Hope you like it. Just hope you don't hate it :) if you didn't understand it or have a few questions on it just PM me. Xxx **


	20. Chapter 20

Heya guys, just letting you know I'll hardly be on fanfiction because I've oved to wattpad because its easier. All my stories from my fanfiction account will be on my wattpad account. So see ya on the other side… XxParadiseLostxX (MY WATTPAD NAME)


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